Tuesday, 30 October 2018

Wenches & Witches (d100 Carousing Table)

Story time:

We were rolling up characters with DOOMSLAKERS, the homebrew OSR ruleset included in the excellent Black Pudding zine. The optional d8 tables for hair/eye colour each have the same entry for rolling an 8: roll again, but on the other table. This, plus an entry on 7 to roll twice and combine colours, makes for more variety and some interesting or unusual combinations.

Thing is, Clarice the Silent's player (Clarice is a Medusa, one of the many brilliant classes from Black Pudding) was having a string of luck. She rolled an 8 - ok, refer to the other table. Then a 7... ok, roll twice... another 8, refer to the other table... and so on.

It wasn't a glaring flaw; we had a laugh about it, and we could've just rolled a d6 instead if we wanted to stop the madness, but it did get me thinking. That kind of chain-reaction rolling might not be ideal when you're a GM trying to cook up content on the fly, but if there's no real time pressure and you're willing to see where the dice take you, it can be fun. The compounding randomness creates a little rollercoaster ride of twists and turns as you watch an ever more bizarre final result come into view.

Y'know where that might work great? On a carousing table.
working title for this table was briefly No Sleep For Witches
I've been doing this blog for the better part of a year and I’ve yet to make a carousing table? For shame. This one is mildly seasonally flavoured but not to the extent that it's an All Hallows Eve exclusive.

The table assumes your party starts the night in a tavern in town, and goes from there, the fun being figuring out how you got where you ended up - standard carousing stuff. This won't do anything that's utterly terrible to your character, it's all in good jest. I’d just make players roll on this at the end of a quest if they wanted to level up.

I didn't include any specific costs, as game economies vary substantially and some folk use gold-for-XP, etc. For magic effects, assume they wear off with reasonable comedic timing.

Roll on the d4 tables when referred by bolded text. You might be sent to table after table - keeping rolling until the overall result is suitably wacky. Add to the d4 tables (making them a d6, d8, whatever), using specific examples from your game's world to make it more interesting: “Someone” could be a specific player character or favourite NPC, etc.

Happy Hallowe’en!

You wake up...
01: You've lost your favourite item. If the GM's nice, you can find it somewhere.
02: Slumped on the bar, drooling, half a tankard in one hand.
03: Slumped on the bar, wearing something.
04: On the floor in a pool of something.
05: Someplace, unscathed.
06: Someplace, in a compromising position.
07: Someplace, with a wench.
08: Someplace, with someone.
09: Someplace with someone and you're both bewitched.
10: Someplace with someone and you're both wearing the same thing.
11: Where you expected to be, but you're bewitched.
12: Where you expected to be, but you're in a compromising position.
13: Where you expected to be, but with a wench.
14: Where you expected to be, but in a pool of something.
15: A bed, alone and comfortable - not your own bed though, someone else's.
16: Nearby your coin purse, which you soon find out is somewhere.
17: Someplace, but your clothes are somewhere and you're wearing something else.
18: Someplace, with your weapon somewhere.
19: Someplace, in a pool of something.
20: In a compromising position, wearing something, half your money is somewhere nearby.
21: Someplace, with someone else, and they're in a compromising position.
22: Still in the tavern, with a bunch of random strangers all wearing the same thing.
23: Where you expected to be, but you've got a potion in one hand.
24: Where you expected to be, but you're under the effects of a potion.
25: Where you expected to be, but someone else is there and they just drank a potion.
26: Someplace, with someone, lying in a pool of something and wearing something.
27: Where you expected to be, but you're bewitched and under the effects of a potion.
28: Where you expected to be, with copious amounts of your favourite food.
29: Someplace, with copious amounts of your favourite food, in a compromising position.
30: Still in the tavern, but everyone else in there with you is bewitched.
31: Still in the tavern, things appear normal. All the ale is now spiked with some kind of potion.
32: On the tavern roof.
33: On the tavern roof, bewitched.
34: On the tavern roof with someone, one of you (flip a coin) is in a compromising position.
35: On the tavern roof, with a lucky find.
36: Someplace, and you're blindfolded. It's tight and tricky to get off without help.
37: Where you expected to be, bewitched and with a lucky find.
38: Still in the tavern, with someone, both under the effects of a potion (different ones).
39: Still in the tavern, you and a bunch of random strangers are all piled up in a snoring heap.
40: Out on the street, wearing something.
41: Out on the street, in a compromising position.
42: Out on the street, bewitched.
43: Out on the street, under the effects of a potion.
44: Out on the street, a lucky find clutched in one hand.
45: Out on the street in a pool of something.
46: Someplace with a bunch of strangers, and you're all wearing the same thing.
47: Still in the tavern, and the tavern is now owned by someone.
48: Still in the tavern, but the tavern owner is wearing something.
49: Still in the tavern, but the tavern owner is bewitched.
50: Still in the tavern, in a compromising position.
51: Still in the tavern, in a pool of something.
52: In bed with a skull.
53: In bed with a dead bat.
54: In bed with a live frog.
55: In bed with a pumpkin on your head.
56: In a graveyard, resting comfortably on the ground outside.
57: In a graveyard, in an empty grave.
58: In a graveyard, in a coffin with someone.
59: In a graveyard, in a coffin with a week-old corpse.
60: In a graveyard, in a coffin with someone spooky.
61: Still in the tavern, with a wooden leg in your grasp.
62: Someplace, and you have a tattoo (player to your left/right, flip a coin, decides what of).
63: Still in the tavern, and everyone's naked except for pumpkins on their heads.
64: In someone's bed, and they're in yours.
65: Everything's dark and cramped. You're at the tavern, in a barrel behind the bar.
66: Someplace, holding a potion bottle (don't roll for this one!) containing 6d6 bats.
67: In bed, holding a note in someone's handwriting; a recipe you both came up with.
68: Someplace, inside a giant pumpkin, naked.
69: Nice.
70: A wench is in your bed, and you're on the floor.
71: A wench is trying to wake you up before someone spooky gets home.
72: You and a wench are alone in the tavern.
73: You and someone spooky are alone in the tavern.
74: You and a wench are alone in the tavern, and they're someone spooky.
75: Someplace with someone spooky happily asleep on top of you.
76: In bed with a wench, but your belongings are somewhere.
77: In a dark alley, being poked and prodded awake by someone spooky.
78: A tune in your head. You, someone and someone spooky all decided to start a band.
79: You're wearing something, and so is literally everyone else in town.
80: In bed with a wench, and they're bewitched.
81: In bed with a wench, you're both bewitched (same effect). Someone spooky is there.
82: In bed with a wench, in a pool of something.
83: In bed with someone and a wench.
84: In bed with someone spooky.
85: In bed with a witch.
86: In bed with someone spooky, and you're in a compromising position.
87: In someone spooky's bed, and they're in a compromising position.
88: In bed with two wenches, both much larger than yourself. Hard to get out from betwixt.
89: Someplace with someone spooky, and they're wearing something.
90: Someplace, your money somewhere, in a compromising position, in a pool of something.
91: In a witch's house. They've tucked you into bed and are sleeping in the spare room.
92: In a witch's house. They've made you a potion.
93: In a witch's house. You're in a compromising position.
94: In a witch's house. You're bewitched.
95: In a witch's house. There's a wench there with you, too.
96: In a witch's house, someone spooky is there too. You're all wearing the same thing.
97: Up a tree. You made a lucky find last night, and you're also bewitched.
98: Someplace. You have the recipe for a potion scribbled on one hand.
99: You made a lucky find. Also, roll again.
00: Best night ever. Roll again, but you're still super fucking drunk.

1: the character of the player to your left/right (flip a coin)
2: a local shopkeep, barkeep, renowned NPC, etc
3: a wench
4: a witch!

Someone Spooky...
1: a vampire (or jiangshi)
2: a werewolf (or were-something)
3: a ghost
4: a witch!

1: the rooms upstairs at the tavern
2: the town square
3: someone's home or quarters
4: just outside of town

1: hanging outside in full view of all the town
2: stashed away in a boudoir
3: in a pile of muck by the roadside
4: up your butt

1: nothing
2: someone else’s clothes
3: fancy finery
4: a spooky costume

1: turned into a frog
2: turned invisible
3: in love with someone
4: body-swapped with someone

A Pool Of...
1: vomit
2: ale
3: expensive wine
4: a potion

1: levitation
2: virility
3: makes you bewitched
4: hallucinations

Compromising Positions...
1: handcuffed
2: blindfolded
3: gagged
4: with someone fast asleep on top of you, wearing something

Lucky Finds...
1: cool weapon
2: a potion, labelled
3: some money, not much
4: something inexpensive that someone really wants

Wenches... (here used as a gender-neutral term. Roll 2d6 for relative attractiveness out of 10)
1: wearing something
2: in a compromising position
3: not aligning with your usual proclivities
4: of a race rare to your game's setting

1: classic, green skin, pointy hat, broomstick nearby
2: sultry, vampy, sexy goth look
3: utterly normal in appearance, you haven't realised they're a witch
4: a wench (and a witch also, clearly)

If the result involves somebody else and their attitude towards you is unclear:
1: Miffed
2: Fairly indifferent, to be honest
3: Pleasant enough
4: Friendly
5: Amorous
6: Deeply intrigued


James V. West said...

Yeah but WHAT COLOR did the medusa end up with?!

Nice tables.

D. G. Chapman said...

Brown/teal hair and purple/white eyes! The player decided it meant a kind of metallic ombre for the snakes, and that her purple eyes turned white when using eye beams/magic :)

Clarice the Silent then pulled off a daring escape from some nobberlochs at 1 HP by leading them into a room full of spiders. We're thoroughly enjoying Black Pudding, so thanks!

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