Friday, 16 March 2018

Animal Folk (1d20)

Upon discovering a new village or town, the population are not human, but animal folk. Use as many puns and references to the nature/diet/stereotypes/myths of the original animal as you can. They wear little hats or waistcoats or something.

1: Roll again but it’s just that animal, not a person-version. The town is overrun.
Frog. Upstanding and noble, like knights in a fairy tale. Their princess is a human.
3: Racoon. Genial and lazy, like good-for-nothing uncles. Join the feast! What, leaving already?
4: Fox. Sly and inquisitive, like greasy salespeople. Eager to sell their enchanting wares.
5: Catfish. Friendly and dull, but well-meaning. A giant one out by the waterfall offers advice.
6: Crow. Pious and brash, like haughty nuns. The first night you stay, someone robs the shrine.
7: Cow/Bull. Hard-working and passionate, outspoken frontiersfolk. Won’t suffer ne’er-do-wells.
Pig. Friendly and wise, like fat old critics. Can tell you anything about any food they sniff.
Owl. Stuffy and bookish, like terse librarians. You can stay as long as you don’t make noise.
10: Caterpillar. All but one are cocooned, the last is tidying up before he joins them.
Macaque. Good-humoured and lascivious, like staff in a bordello. Know some great stories.
Mouse. Actual size. Borrowers-style, under the floorboards of a seemingly abandoned house.
Bear. Polite and genteel, keep a few treasures. If you come in winter, they’re all asleep.
Bat. The night sky is to them as the beach is to surfer dudes. Something’s been hunting them.
Goat. Rural and standoffish, like ornery farmers. Best be on your way, now.
Lizard. Sunbathing and off their faces on pipeweed. Got any food?
Deer. Very well-to-do. They sell little snowglobes and kitschy wooden ornaments.
Warthog. Brusque but kind. They’ll offer their ugliest child in marriage, plus a huge dowry.
Crab. Terminally unimpressed.
Roll again but they share the place with humans, roll 1d4. 1-2: They live in harmony, 3: They have an uneasy alliance, 4: One knows nothing of the other.

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