King of the Mountain

 an adventure for GoGoGolf!

Mount Teemeeoff is one of the smallest in the Driving Range, covered top to bottom in soft green grass. Recently, a boss monster called Big King Pachinko has moved in to the mountaintop, knocked over the pointy bit, and started causing trouble.

Calling himself king of the mountain, he spends his days hitting enormous wrecking balls with his magic golf club. These fly everywhere, causing rockslides and careening down the slopes of the mountain itself.

The locals have had to hide or flee, and live in fear of the new king. They've sent word for brave heroes willing to climb the mountain and knock him down to size.

- Every time the players move between a location, roll a die. If the number rolled matches that location's number, a small round shadow appears above the players, which slowly gets bigger. If they don't move, they are squished by a person-sized wrecking ball and each take 1 Heart in damage.

1. Fairway Field. Rolling green grass at the base of Mount Teemeeoff. There is a huge rocky cliff ahead that would take days to climb. On either side, two gentle slopes circle up the left and right of the mountain. A couple of Slimes approach anyone who tries to climb either slope, attacking on the orders of Big King Pachinko.

 The slope to the left looks gentle and leads to longer, unkempt grass and a few tall trees (area 2). Sounds of bleating can be heard on the wind from this direction.

The slope to the right is steeper and it is more difficult to see where it leads (area 3). Walking all the way around the base of the mountain to the other side leads to the very bottom of area 4.

There are a few trees here in the field, and one has a large bird's nest at the top. Disturbing the nest wakes a sleeping owl, who is sick of the King making such a racket and will help any way he can. He can carry one person at a time, and cannot fly higher than the bottom of the stairs at the top of area 4. If a wrecking ball comes anywhere near him, he will get scared and fly away.

2. Mountainside Meadow. A sloping stretch of long grass on the mountain's left side. There is a sheep grazing the grass, but it is spooked easily and will run if it notices anyone approach.

Another sheep has found its way to the top of a tall tree, where it sits in a bird's nest, afraid to come down. At the bottom of the tree, a Spike Goose is honking loudly at the sheep, harassing it. The nest belongs to the Spike Goose, and its large egg is in there with the sheep.

Beyond the meadow, the slop continues round to the back of the mountain (area 4).

3. Abandoned Canyon. Up the slope to the right of the mountain, the terrain is steep and quickly gets rocky and difficult. After a while, the path is split by a wide canyon, with only one stone spire standing up in the very centre of it that comes up to the level of the path.

It's too far to jump to the spire, and twice as far to the other side, but someone has left a long plank to use as a bridge. There is a sheep standing in the very centre of the plank atop the spire, unaware of how it got there.

The plank is balanced precariously on the point of the spire, and will unbalance if unequal weight is put on either side. The plank reaches almost the whole way across the gap, but not quite - it's still a short jump to either side from the ends.

On the far side of the gap, the path continues round the back of the mountain to area 4.

4. Stone Stairway. Both paths, 2 and 3, lead round to the back of the mountain, and the base of a stone staircase that leads up to area 6. The King is watching this area, and will send down an extra wrecking ball at anyone who tries to climb the stairs.

Below the stone steps is a sheer drop over perilous, rocky cliffs. At the very bottom of the cliffs, at the mountain's base, is the entrance a small cave (area 5), but it can't be seen from the top except for the faint, multicoloured light it emits.

5. Glittering Caves. Strange colours emit from the mouth of this secret cave, round the back of the mountain's base. Inside, the walls are covered in thousands of softly glowing crystals in all the colours of the rainbow. They are beautiful, but ultimately worthless, made of natural rock candy.

The local people who used to live on this mountain are hiding in here. They offer food and a place to rest, as well as one health potion per player (each restores 2 Hearts). They want the King gone, but are all too scared of the wrecking balls to leave.

One of the locals, a shepherd, asks the players to return his three sheep to him, after they all got lost wandering the mountain. He will reward the players with a magic club from his bag for each sheep returned.

6. Teemeeoff Peak. The pointed summit of the mountain has been levelled off to create a lawn for Big King Pachinko. The boss monster is a huge round ball, nearly as tall as a person, with hands and feet and an enormous moustache. He is able to create wrecking balls to attack with, which he hits with his golf club.

He wears a little gold crown, which he is very vain about and references constantly, believing that its shine makes him the most important person on the mountain.

Big King Pachinko. Level 10, 6 Hearts, 1dmg. Can create wrecking balls which deal 1 Heart damage when sent flying. Wields the Big Big Club, which has the power to hit anything round and send it flying as easily as if it were a little golf ball, up to the size of the person using it.

GoGoGolf! is available in print ($5USD) and pdf ($3USD) from Possible Worlds Games, itch, DriveThruRPG and Indie Press Revolution.

GoGoGolf! is out now!

Head over to the Possible Worlds store and pick up a physical copy of my OSR style adventure game that’s about golf for some reason for just $5USD! Click right here

Still working on the Mothership mystery setting - phonebook is about 90% mapped out and 1/3 filled in, and I’ve revised and reiterated the cases yet again, think I’ve got a solid starting adventure down now. Will try to playtest soon, hopefully can get the whole phonebook working by then too! Man, it’s tough writing something that needs so much prep work before you can even start testing it

Conversely, I’m back at work on the miniatures game, which I’m constantly testing and iterating on. It’s pretty good you guys. Very cool to have a game I made that I can just play a bit of for fun whenever I want?? Hope to have more to share on that before too long.

Busy busy! Feels good to be back in the saddle

GoGoGolf! is back, babyyyyyy

An all-new physical edition of GoGoGolf! is now available to preorder as part of the Details of Our Escape campaign from Possible Worlds!

• Revamped art and layout from original artist Jon Bliss
• Streamlined mechanics - everything is 2d6 now
• More fun surprises???

And it’s only $5USD for print + pdf!

Big big thanks to Jon and to Tyler from PW for working on this with me. I made GoGoGolf! five years ago, my first year working in games. It’s my first ever ttrpg, and it means a lot to me that this very weird project still has fans after all this time. A polite golf clap to everyone who’s played and kept it going this long

Preorder now! And check out all the other great stuff you can get as part of this campaign on backerkit. Click here!

PS I have still never played golf in my life

Lighthouse Island (an adventure)

A mini starter adventure for GoGoGolf, but I guess you could adapt and use it for any adventure/OSR system if you really wanted to.

(Psst - it's meant to be easy! Let players beat it quickly and creatively, but also reward them for exploring further. Another tip: have some nori or vaguely kelp-looking sweets, if such a thing exists, to give to your players if they decide to eat the bubble kelp.)

The players find themselves shipwrecked, washed up on the shore of a small island.

Inland from the beach they see a dense jungle, and beyond that, rising above the canopy, a lighthouse. Seabirds lazily circle the top of the red-and-white striped tower, from which no light shines.

*marimba riff*

The Shore

White-gold sand and calm, crystal water. Michelle, a curious mermaid, has swum into the shallows to see if you're ok. She says that visitors rarely come here since the light in the lighthouse went out.

She knows little else about the island, being a sea creature. If the players return here later with some way of breathing underwater, she will offer to take them to Shell Town.

There are small, flighty fish swimming in the shallows that could be caught with a net or rod.

The Jungle

A sandy trail leads into the thick foliage, the air hot and steamy and full of the chatter of animals.

Just off the trail, a withered old pirate captain named Belinda Barnacles lives in a ramshackle treehouse (her ship, utterly wrecked and crashed into a tree) with her pet parrot, Pedro. She's unused to seeing other people and is easily startled, possibly unhinged, but friendly enough. She remembers that the lighthouse went out about a year or so ago, but knows little else.

Capt. Barnacles has a Plant Club, which she carries like a walking stick, using its Magic Spell to grow her food. If the players inquire about it she'll assume they want it, and will ask for a mango lizard in trade (if she gets one, she promptly feeds it whole to Pedro).

If players spend too long wandering the jungle, they come across a snake. There is a nearby plant that acts as antidote to the snake's venom - the character most likely to know about plants (due to eg. high WIT or a relevant backstory) will recognise it.

The Lighthouse

The jungle clears as the ground slopes up to the island's centre, where the lighthouse stands. Shuffling and banging noises can be heard from inside.

There is only one entrance to the lighthouse, on the side to which the jungle trail leads. On the opposite side of the building, a mango lizard is basking high up on the wall. (A Swing could stun it and knock it down on a critical hit - Target 10.)

The lighthouse interior is comprised of 3 levels:

Level 1

A dark, echoey warehouse space that smells of dust and mould. Crates are stacked against the wall, all empty, and a spiral staircase runs along the edge of the space to a landing, then continues to an upper floor.

There are three goblings, one of each variety (the wizard uses the Star Club's spell), chittering and conspiring in the main ground floor space. They will defend their hideout, but flee upstairs the second a combat turns against them.

Some large heavy barrels are on the landing, held up by shelving that looks old and worn (Target 10 from the lower floor - a critical sends the barrels tumbling down like Donkey Kong, defeating any goblings below.)

Level 2

The goblings are guarding a stash containing a heart potion (restores 1 heart), a Star Club, a fishing rod with a can of bait and several old comic books.

There is a bunk bed on this level, and a desk with some paper and pens next to a potted plant. The plant is of a variety none of the players have seen before with long, wavy blue leaves. Capt. Barnacles might know what it is (she does - it's bubble kelp, which lets you breathe underwater for a day if you eat it).

Level 3

A small, circular space. Archways along the walls serve as open windows to the sky outside.

A giant, smashed light bulb stands in the centre, not working. The machinery to power it is old and doesn't function (but could be revived by a Thunder Club). If the players can get a strong enough light of any kind to shine from the lighthouse, a ship will come and rescue them (adventure complete!)

The players can easily get the attention of the pelican flying outside, who perches on a little wooden rod protruding from the wall by one of the archways. He knows that the old lighthouse keeper used to keep the light running, but hasn't been seen on the island in over a year.

The pelican has a lavender conch in his beak and will trade it for food (fruit, fish, or a mango lizard). He can carry messages for his friends, or take one person at a time in his beak, back down to the beach or to anywhere else on the island, but no farther.

Shell Town

There is a small village deep below on the ocean floor, obscured under the waves. It's too far to swim unless you can breathe underwater.

Several giant conch shells serve as houses for the mermaid population, including a shop that sells souvenirs, run by a young mermaid named Crysta who is surprised to have customers. The mermaids' currency is a rare lavender-coloured conch - one conch will buy you any single item in Crysta's shop. The items are all funky shell jewelry, cool clubs that the players want, including a Thunder Club, as well as a large glowing rock that could be used as a giant lightbulb.

There is also a farm nearby that grows bubble kelp and various other nutritious sea vegetables, run by a monkfish named Gregg.

The town's mayor, Sandy, lives in the largest shell. She's worried about some rough-looking octopuses that live in a nearby shipwreck - they keep stealing food from the town and need to be taught a lesson. (The octopuses' treasure hoard contains many fancy jewels, a Fire Club, and a gold crown that lets the wearer walk on water.)

The mayor's husband is an old human who eats bubble kelp for breakfast every day. He vaguely remembers being a lighthouse keeper.

GoGoGolf!

Finally, the world's most boring sport meets the kitschy esoterica of tabletop roleplaying.

GoGoGolf! is available for download now.